BLACKJACK LAND & CATTLE COMPANY: My mom-tribute

Thursday, October 25, 2007

My mom-tribute

This day 15 years ago my mom went to be with Jesus. I was 19 years old at the time and my sister was a senior in high school. My mom had brain cancer, she had 2 operations, chemo, radiation, a stroke her cancer was very aggressive. From the day she was diagnosed she lived about 9 months. I can say my mom had a incredible strength and grace the way she dealt with cancer. About 2 months after her first surgery she went to the doctor for a checkup. They came home and said the cancer had come back and was growing down her brain stem. They could try and remove some of the tumor, but it could have left her a vegetable the rest of her life. My mom chose not to have the surgery and spend her last months with us. You know I never saw her upset, she never left me and Jennifer see her mad. She was always so happy and smiling. What a blessing for me and Jennifer, we have some great memories. I will never forget her talking with me one day about not seeing Jennifer graduate, us get married have children, etc. She said she was going to miss that so much, but had to trust God knew what he was doing. She is such a inspiration to me. Wow, I can not even imagine having to say that to my children. What grace she had her last few months, she chose to spend it being happy and rejoicing instead of mad and upset. I can say I had to grow up real fast and take over for my mom. We opted to have Hospice come out to the house her last few weeks alive. I can not sing enough praises about Hospice, they truly are angels. We did not want her to be in a hospital her last few days. It is still so clear. I will never forget the morning she left us. My Dad came in and woke me up, he said he knew it wouldn't be long. So he called the nurse and the nurse said to spend time with her she would be gone within the hour. So we woke up my sister and all joined around her bed in the den. You have to understand the last few weeks she was alive she was in a light coma, she did not talk. I would sit with her as my sister would and talk about her favorite soaps, tell her anything, but no response. When we all gathered around her she looked at all of us smiled and said she loved us. I know in my heart that what she did right before she passed was such a great gift from God. She took a few more breaths and then she was gone. My Dad was the first to leave then my sister, I could not leave. I continued to sit there until the nurse showed up. My mom was my best friend, I owe so much to her and wish everyday that she was still here. She is missing out on her granddaughter and grandson, my wonderful husband, just my whole life in general. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of her. I did not realize how much she did until I had my daughter. It then hit me how much she did for us and how she always went above her call of motherhood. She always put us girls first, she held our family together. Since she has passed our family has suffered, my Dad has never recovered her death. Me and my sister are very close even though we live hundreds of miles apart. We try to talk weekly and keep up with each other with our blogs and email. I truly believe my mom would be proud of me and Jennifer. We both have great christian husbands and are trying to raise our children the way she raised us. I just wanted to let everyone know that I was blessed with a extraordinary mom who I will never forget. Mom, I miss you everyday, so much. I wish you were here to be a part of my everyday life. You would have been such a great grandmother and such a blessing to our children. You are always with me and I tell Savannah about you all the time. Thanks for being you and such a wonderful mom. I love you more than I can say.

20 comments:

Momma Roar said...

Kris - what a touching post. I think it is awesome that you and Jennifer are both trying to raise your mom how she raised you - what a wonderful tribute to her - to carry on her legacy!

God certainly blessed you with the 19 years you were able to be with her.

Sending you hugs today!

nickernoodle said...

That tribute brought tears to my eyes. I truly believe she would be proud of you both. The part you said about her telling you she loved you before she died. I believe that is a gift from God. My grandma died from cancer 5 years ago. She too had been not too responsive and and we had a couple sleepless nights at the hospital. The last day she was alive she was alert and we watched TV together, visited and she knew everything that was going on. Later that afternoon she told us the room was full of her family and angels, she smiled, and went to be with Jesus. Her cancer was in her liver and we found out right before Christmas and she passed July 9th. (((HUGS))) to you dear friend. Keep telling Savannah about her wonderful grandmother and hang onto the good memories.

Jill@Who Could Ask for Anything More said...

What a wonderful and touching post. Tears, here.... I can not even imagine how hard that must have been for you and your sister at such a young age. And your dad, too. My mom is 80 and I know here days are numbered, just because of her age. I got married late and had children late and I know she will not see most of the milestones of Adam's life. She has been my steady rock my whole life and I will miss her terribly. My husband's mother passed away just a few months after we got married and he lost a little piece of himself, he says. I just know your mom is looking down from heaven and is so very, very proud.

Penless Thoughts said...

Tears in my eyes but I can just imagine the great BIG smile that your mother has on her face as we each one read this wonderful tribute that you have written for and about her :o)
Susan

Penless Thoughts said...

Tears in my eyes but I can just imagine the great BIG smile that your mother has on her face as we each one read this wonderful tribute that you have written for and about her :o)
Susan

Tonya said...

I can't imagine losing my mom at 19. What a touching post!

Nonna said...

What a very touching post. It brought tears to my eyes also. I know your mom is very proud of you and your sister and is smiling down on Savannah, you and your beautiful family. I keep my grandmother who I was very close to alive in my heart everyday.

Karen said...

I'm sorry that cancer touched your family, too. It's no respector of age, race, religion, etc. My father in law had a brain tumor, and your description of your mother's last moments brought back those memories. We also had hospice come in, and he was able to die at home. They are truly a blessing to hurting families.
Your Mother left a wonderful legacy of love to you all.

USAincognito said...

*sniff* This trip down memory lane of your mother brought me to tears. Your mother would most certainly be proud of you and your sister if she were still alive today. I know she is smiling down on you both from heaven. :)

Rising Rainbow said...

You are very lucky, it sounds like you had an amazing mom. I know that you didn't get to have her as long as you would have like, but sounds to me like you can still feel her love. What an incredible gift.

BarnGoddess said...

wonderful tribute to your mom!

I lost my mom to cancer when I was 11 yo and the last child at home.

Time eases the pain ever so slowly. My mother and your mom are a like in many ways!

We are lucky ot have such wonderful memories.

Midlife Mom said...

What a beautiful tribute to your Mom! I too was teary as I read it. What a blessing to have those memories of her being happy and not complaining. My MIL had cancer too and she was determined that the grandchildren would not have their last memories of her complaining about her illness. She was brave and given the grace to get through it with a joyful heart. She never said why me? I would hope that if I should face this kind of situation in my life that I with God's help would be the same.

Anonymous said...

A wonderful tribute to your Mother and my Sweet Wife. When I get to Heaven I plan on asking God why He had to take her so soon.
I love you,
Dad

~Just A Thought Ginger said...

I cannot say anything different than the words already written above by your fellow bloggers.

How touching and personal your story. I love my mom and this is a great reminder to let her know while I have her.

Frazzled Farm Wife said...

What a great tribute to your mother! She sounds like one lucky mom to have had the two of you and your dad! I talk about my dad all the time to my kids and hope that they will know him through me and tell them that I know he would have loved them very much!

~ Amy ~ said...

This post just grabs my heart. I can hear the love that you had for her and the pain that you felt.

As I'm typing this "I Can Only Imagine" is playing ~ how fitting. Just think, your mom is living this song ~ AWESOME!!

Anonymous said...

Hey!! I know that you have no idea who I am but I am a friend of Chris & Jen's from Missouri. I read what you typed about your mother and that was so touching!! I am best friends with my mother (22 years old) and I can't imagine loosing her. You went through a lot, but it is great to hear that she with Jesus!! You have so much to pass on down to your family from here. Again, that was a great tribute. Thanks for sharing. ;-)
Holly Tibbles

Anonymous said...

Tears come to my eyes when I read about someone who has lost a parent at such a young age. Time never really heals this loss because something will happen and make you realize how much you still miss them. Putting down your feelings like that, your mom is probably smiling down on you and your family. You have and are still doing a great job raising your son & daughter. God Bless!!

Leah's Kitchen said...

What a sweet tribute to your Mother! It made me cry! I am thankful I got to spend last weekend with my parents alone - what a treat! It was fun just to be their daughter again, and not a wife or mom. I felt both spoiled and treasured!

Thanks for joining the Recipe Exchange!

Kathy C said...

This is a beautiful tribute to your Mother. What a wonderful woman she was.